Breathing is a good thing

I have nothing more to say about Japan.

IMG_6289That’s a lie. I have plenty to say. I’m just more interested in pursuing new venues to express myself. NihoniGo has begun to feel limiting. It’s funny, because my initial concept was to make sure I created a tight enough focus so that it wouldn’t get away from me. Instead, I ended up getting away from it.

To put it bluntly, the last few months have been an extremely trying time in my life. Have you ever noticed that you’ve been holding your breath for a very long time? Like three months?

I did.

Somehow I managed to survive so long without oxygen without too many ill effects. There’s probably a little brain damage but I’m sure that was already there.

IMG_4606The thing is, it is very difficult to do things when you are holding your breath. It is important to stay as still as possible so as to use the least amount of oxygen. So you see I had to let life pass by. Maybe Guiness will get a hold of this and I’ll get a blurb in their interesting book.

The problem is that I’m sure that there are plenty of others out there that have held their breath for much longer.

But I don’t want to talk about other record holders.

I want to talk about me.

Now that I’m allowed to breathe again I find that life has taken on a new hue. Flowers are blooming. Colors infest the landscape. Smells infiltrate every pore in my body. Wait a second! That sounds like spring!

In a way it is.

Spring is a time of renewals, rebirth, new dawns and new ideas.

New beginnings.

During my record breaking attempt I began to notice slight changes taking place. Metamorphosis, if you will. I morphed from a pudgy caterpillar into a beau… um… pudgy caterpillar with brain damage.

IMG_6352It’s like that time I captured a large green caterpillar when I was about ten years old. I was sure the funny looking creature would turn into a spectacular Luna moth. I nudged it carefully into a large jar and let nature take its course. I fed it leaves and put a stick in there to walk on. Then one day it began to weave a silk cocoon around itself. Real nature was happening in front of my eyes! Soon after, it was fully enclosed and there was nothing new to see. My ten year old mind lost interest. Other things were more exciting.

One month. Two months.

I don’t know how long I waited but one day I began to worry. What if I captured it and it wasn’t able to perform its incredible feat? I was a killer. Guilt took control and I unscrewed the cap and set the bottle outside in a safe place to let nature take its course… naturally.

Look at that. I wanted to talk about me but instead I talked about a fat green caterpillar from twenty-five years ago. Yes. I must have brain damage.

Oxygen sure is an amazing thing. My freedom to breathe again has let the axioms and neurons and other tidbits of brain material to begin firing again.

So, that is to say, I have nothing more to say about Japan at this time. I do, however, have a lot to say.

Maybe too much.


About Matthew J. Durocher

Matthew Durocher is a graduate of Michigan Tech University. He acquired his BA in English along with a minor in Music Composition and a certificate in Writing in Spring 2012. His style is one of passion and musicality. One foot is firmly rooted in tradition while the other slides dangerously close to the clouds.
This entry was posted in Narrative, Reflection and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Breathing is a good thing

  1. Pingback: For Those that are Curious | Nihon i Go

  2. yaussiechick says:

    Sometimes it’s good to take a break or write or think about another thing. I can only say that I am glad that I found you and always look forward to reading what you have to say because you make good points. So glad you posted!

    • Thank you! I have been reevaluating many things lately and I’ve been doing a lot of personal writing that has no place in the public sphere, but it sure has helped me point in the right direction. Sometimes what we’re looking for is right in front of us but we are too focused far away to see it. Hmmm… that might be a quote from somebody. Thanks again! Have a day full of beauty and comfort.

  3. Jessica says:

    Never too much. You’ve been missed, Matt. And I know exactly what you mean. If I were to limit my blog to only talking about my experiences abroad as I first intended, I would have quit writing by now. Writing is about passion. Write on, friend.

    • Thank you! Your words mean much to me. On reflection, I think the name is a bit limiting but I will just have to run with it. After all, traveling abroad to Japan is what got me started in blogging. Have a wonderful day!

      • Jessica says:

        My first blog was called Tai Tao. I meant it to mean “The Taiwanese Way…” I started Shift in Hong Kong; it was more adaptable… But I don’t think Nihon I go is limiting. It’s catchy and could lead anywhere. 😉

  4. Mabel Kwong says:

    You seem bursting with excitement to write and share so many things.I like this post in that it is so metaphorical. Holding one’s breath…yes, that stifles us of an abundant supply of oxygen and we have to be very careful of every single movement and choice that we make. I guess I’m in that stage now – so many things going on in my life that it’s hard for me to be creative and write. But I guess that’s life – life is a series of phases, beginnings and ends. Have a good Spring, Matt 🙂

    • Thanks Mabel, your words are very kind. Sometimes oxygen is all we need to move on. Spring is soon. Ume are beginning to bloom. Their fragrance is so sweet and tender. It will be a good Spring. And I hope your Spring brings beauty, creativity, and happiness. Thank you.

  5. susan conta says:

    Your writing is always interesting.
    I started following because I plan to teach ESL at some point.
    My nephew is fluent in Japanese and went to Temple U. Japan for a year.
    I hope you do not stop writing about Japan entirely, yet I cna see the point about it becoming restrictive… after all, there is a whole universe to write about out there. Including Japan.
    Susan Conta

    • Thank you for your comment. I don’t plan on stopping any time soon, but I have so many interests and I feel limited by the title of the blog. I guess I could change it, or just let it be and do what I want anyways! Japan has become a part of me. It has been almost two years now and I’ve found it difficult to see the trees due to the forest. I will still throw some stories out there but I want this to be my turning point towards the next stage of my life. I won’t go away. I have too many things to say. Thanks so much for commenting!

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